A very normal reaction to someone else’s aggressive rage and anger is to become angry and aggressive ourselves. This happens because we perceive the other person’s anger as directed at us personally. We feel attacked and in danger. So, in order to protect ourselves from that attack, we become angry ourselves. It is called anger by contagion. It makes no sense but we do it anyway.
Therefore, when you are confronted by another person’s anger, the first thing you want to do is strengthen control over your own reactions and body language.
●Take a deep breath and will yourself to relax.
●Imagine that your feet are anchored deep in the ground like an oak tree.
●Remind yourself not to get immersed in the other person’s anger.
●With a calm, strong, voice ask, “What happened?” (Never ask, “What’s your problem?” because that is demeaning.)