On Bullying…

Bullying is a form of anger manipulation.  A bully is basically a coward.  We know this because once the intended victim confronts the bully, and fights back, the bullying behavior toward the intended victim immediately ceases.

In his mind, the bully has created a little drama with himself in the starring role.  The drama is entitled I am bigger, more powerful, better, smarter, stronger, more popular (pick one) than you.  If you are the person being bullied, you have the co-starring role in the drama.  Your role is called target or victim.  What you have to do is show the bully that you are not an appropriate co-star.

Studies have shown that envy and resentment may be motives for bullying. This is especially true when it comes to school bullying where those less gifted bully their brighter and smarter classmates.  While some bullies are arrogant and narcissistic, others use bullying as a tool to conceal their own shame or anxiety over what they themselves lack.  They attempt to boost their own self-esteem by demeaning others.  In this way, the bully feels empowered.

The bully personality includes such behaviors as:

●quickness to anger and rage,

●a fondness for using threats and force,

●addiction to aggressive activities,

● misinterpreting the actions of others as hostile,

●concern with preserving one’s self image, and

●engaging in obsessive or rigid actions.

It is often suggested that bullying behavior has its origin in childhood. As a person who is inclined to act as a bully matures, his related behavior patterns will also mature. Schoolyard taunting develops into a more subtle, yet equally effective adult level of hostility such as administrative end-runs, well orchestrated attempts at character assassination, and various forms of coercion.

Bullying involves repeated acts of aggressive behavior which attempt to create or enforce one person’s power over another.  Bullying may include subtle methods of coercion and intimidation. Bullying types of behavior are often rooted in a hostile home life where the bully himself is a target or victim of this kind of abuse.  The bully may be striking out as a means of retaliation against his own victimization.  Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse




Bullying ranges from simple one on one bullying to more complex bullying in which the bully may have one or more lieutenants who may assist the primary bully in his bullying activities. Bullying actions are designed to intentionally inflict physical injury or mental discomfort upon the target.  Bullying behavior may include name calling, verbal or written abuse, exclusion from activities, exclusion from social situations, physical abuse or coercion.  Bullies may behave this way to be perceived as popular or tough or to get attention. They may bully out of jealousy or be acting out because they themselves are bullied.

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about the two types of bullying…

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