DeAnne’s Anger Tips

Many of us carry around a load of angry baggage over things that happened between ourselves and someone else who is now long dead and gone.  Perhaps it is a parent whom we never confronted.  Now it is too late to do so.  Perhaps it was some other relative and the incident happened 30 years ago.  Yet, when we think of that event, our rage is just as hot today – 30 years later – as it was when the incident occurred.

Carrying around all that anger takes a lot of energy. Want to get rid of it once and for all?  Here is a no-fail method:

Place two chairs opposite one another. Pretend that one chair is occupied by the (dead) offending party. You sit in the other. Close your eyes and in your mind see the offending party sitting opposite you. Have a long mental conversation where you lay out all the aggravations and hostility you have been holding on to all these many years. Explain everything.  When you are finished, imagine the other person responding with a sincere apology for causing you such mental pain.  Then open your eyes. You will notice that all your hostility toward that (dead) other person has disappeared.

Psychiatric specialists explain the phenomenon this way. If you make the conversation real enough, with passion and feeling, your mind will assume that the conversation actually took place. Your mind will assume that the offending person actually heard and absorbed everything you said.

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